Wednesday, 30 May 2012

a rather bad day

lately i have not been very well, even though i have tried to be active, i feel it is taking its toll on me. last week i got up off the couch, only to hear and feel a loud snap noise from my neck. the pain that followed was unbearable. NHS direct wanted me to go to hospital, but i refused. i went to my GP the following day and he said that it was probably a snapped tendon in my neck. however, i have now noticed that when i sneeze, i get very painful shooting pains down both arms. vicky has done some research about this, and it appears to be a problem with a disc in my cervical spine. so today i am layed up on the couch, popping pills as often as i can to try and take some of the pain away.

i was told 3 years ago that there was a chance that my problem could spread to other areas of my spine. this is after all, similar, if not a part, of arthritis, and arthritis can spread rather easily. so now i need to go back to my useless GP and ask him to take a look and possibly send me for an x-ray on my upper spine.

lately i feel like i have so much weight on my shoulders. i can no longer take the pills i was put on to control my panic attacks, as it made me so ill. it was probably a combination of the pills, the recent bout of the Nora virus, and the anxiety that caused me to experience severe stomach pains and vomit blood.

however i have recently received my new wheelchair, and it is alot more comfortable than my last one, and slightly lighter making it easier to get out of the car. but lately i feel embarrassed to be seen in public in a wheelchair. in booths yesterday, we bumped into someone vicky new, and she said that she didnt know i had to use a chair now, and wished me well, which was nice of her. but i felt so small, almost like i was on display. i guess i am just not used to it. i feel like i stand out in a crown. but what gets me so very angry, is arrogant people in supermarkets who simply will not give me any room to manoeuvre, thats if they even acknowledge that i am there. i got hit with a trolley by an old man, who didnt even apologise. just because im in a chair, doesnt mean i am invisible!  

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