Tuesday, 10 April 2012

restless days, sleepless nights

the days are starting to all roll into one, with sleeping becoming ever more difficult. some nights i dread coming to bed, just because i know there is a good chance im going to spend the next few hours staring at the ceiling wishing i could drop off to sleep. even the meds im on these days don't seem to be helping me in that department any more, and its pointless going back to my GP as there isn't really anything else he can prescribe except sleeping pills and i don't want them!

anyway, i have an appointment on the 24th of this month at the hospital for tests on my nerves and muscles in my legs and arms. i don't really understand why this is necessary as my symptoms are easily explained if the 'genius' of surgeon bothered to look at previous tests and examinations, but i guess that is just too difficult. i am also waiting to hear about another test that they want to do on me, which i think involved injecting a dye into my spinal column to illuminate the nerves and see where the problem is. so a fun few months ahead!!

until then i will carry on struggling. the amount of pain i am in on a daily basis seems to be increasing, which is getting me a bit down. it sometimes feels like im suffocating, or trapped in a very small bubble which is constantly shrinking. its very unpleasant to feels trapped in ones own body, wishing you could get out just for a short while to get a bit of relief, which might sound daft to a lot of people, but until you are put in a similar situation, you will probably never know how that feels!

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